Xena: I thought I told you to stay in the cave.
Gab: I did but then this rock told me to come find you.
Xena: A rock told you, you had to come find me?
Gab: Well yeah, I mean his voice was a little gravely but I-I understood it.
-Altered States
Xena: Have I made myself clear?
Gab: No. Youre still a little fuzzy round the edges, but you keep working on it.
-Altered States
Gab: My stomach doesnt feel so good.
Xena: Dont even think about it.
-Altered States
Diana: Its like looking in a mirror...before Ive brushed my hair.
-Warrior...Princess
Diana: This is my trusty round thingy.
Gab: Chakram.
Diana: Bless you.
-Warrior...Princess
Crias: We honour all friends of the virgin goddess.
Gab: You know Id rather you not tell everyone Im a virgin, its kinda personal, you know?
Crias: Whatever you say oh sacred one.
-The Titans
Xena: For your information I could never hate you, your hearts always in the right place.
Gab: Evan when I tried to rule the world with the titans?
Xena: We all make mistakes.
Gab: What about when I got myself kidnapped so I could stop a war?
Xena: That took a lot of guts on your part.
Gab: What about when I-I got your horses reigns tangled?
Xena: Look, the point is were friends and we shouldnt let things like that come between us. Come on. Gabrielle?
Gab: Yeah?
Xena: Dont you ever touch my horse again.
Gab: Right.
-The Titans
Gab: You havent seen her fight. Ive seen her fight. A lot.
Ephiny: Gods shes annoying, how do you put up with her?
Gab: She puts up with me fine.
-Hooves and Harlots
Phantes: Amazon, wanna go for a ride?
-Hooves and Harlots
Gab: Of course I was holding then off to give her the time that she needed. I was just telling them the Morpheus story.
Phantes: And the Tra.. story, the titans, Pandora. She knows them by heart and she loves to tell them.
Ephiny: Now I see why you ride the horse.
-Hooves and Harlots
Wait a minute. Those boots. That leather. Those legs. Xena!
-Salmoneus, Black Wolf.
Being naked wont excuse ya, sing to talk were in Illusia.
-Joxer, The Bitter Suite
Nice vocal, but you sure cant dance to it.
-Ares, The Bitter Suite
Gab: Can we talk? Of course not, I betrayed you. The pathetic thing is, I thought I was saving you. Xena, I know you must hate me, but no more than I hate myself.
Xena: ...Scratch my nose would ya?...Come on.
-The Debt 2
Xena: Tell me how you feel. Right now, nothing about the past.
Gab: I hurt inside!...Dont you?
-The Bitter Suite (TBS)
Ares: Nothing more need be said, ding dong, the bitch is dead.
-TBS
Glad that youre feeling strong, thought I might lose ya. Dont use words sing a song, this is Illusia!
-Callisto, TBS
Alright Callisto, you like little ditties? Fine, I got one for ya. Youre acting so strangely that I hardly know ya, but still I wouldnt trust ya as far as I could throw ya.
-Xena, TBS
The Elysian Fields. Only heroes end up here. Dead heroes. Dead naked heroes!
-Gabrielle, TBS
Did that fill you with glee to kill your little friend? Did that ease your suffering, or bring it to an end? Let go. All of your anger will poison you yet, unless you can just let go...
-Callisto, The Bitter Suite
Xena: I killed Gabrielle.
Gab: You killed me. By the Gods Xena, you killed me. I knew you were trying to before but I didnt-
Xena: No, no. I didnt do it. None of this is real. Ares, Callisto, Joxer. I didnt kill you, I killed an illusion.
Gab: If thats supposed to make me feel better...
-TBS
Xena: Gabrielle, before I tried the flip without the staff I made 300 attempts with it.
Gab: Slow learner huh Xena? I had that problem with basket weaving.
Xena: its the right foot but Id rather you didnt.
Gab: its not gonna kill me. One time, thats all I need. One time.
Xena: ...Wrong foot.
-One Against An Army.
Xena: You got any better ideas?
Gab: Oh, youre asking me? Thats a first. You know, ever since weve met youve always made the decisions.
Xena: Because you always so long to reach one. Always weighing the pros and cons!
-TBS
Gab: Whats causing that?
Xena: We are, or I should say, you are.
Gab: There you go again, youre always blaming me for everything. Xena, why is it never your fault?!
-TBS
Xena: Im not gonna tell you, you shouldnt have tried that flip.
Gab: Youll work it in.
-One Against An Army (OAAA)
Xena: ...Elevation, and nice cold water.
Gab: Yeah well, Im not thirsy.
Xena: Siddown.
Gab: Now you owe me a nice pair of boots.
-OAAA
Xena: Oh the pass.
Gab: The pass?
Xena: The pass at Thermopile, thats the answer.
Gab: Whats the question?
-OAAA
You know its occurred to me that this is just a clever diversion to make me forget about my boots.
-Gabrielle, OAAA
Come on Xena, not even you can stop an entire war. Alright look I did not mean that as a challenge!
-Gabrielle, Is there a doctor in the house (ITADITH)
Gab: My chest feels so he-heavy. What?
Xena: Blood. The arrow must have grazed your lung. The poison.
Gab: I just ran out of time didnt I?
-OAAA
Xena promise me, promise me that you will not leave this battle because of me.
-Gabrielle, OAAA
Gab: Xena, you gotta take me with you. Teach me all you know. You cant leave me here in Potadeia I want to go with you. Ive studied the stars, spoken with philosophers, I have the gift of prophesy. I can be very valuable to you. Take me with you, I want so much to be like you.
Xena: And I want to be like you.
-OAAA
Xena: Dont argue with me now.
Gab: Dont you argue with me. I know that Im going to die. I accept that, why cant you? A long time ago I accepted the consequences of our life together, that it might one day come to this. It has. Im not afraid.
Xena: You always said that I was the brave one. Look at you now. If this is to be our destiny lets see it out together. Even in death Gabrielle, I will never leave you.
-OAAA
Gab: I want you to have my right of cast.
Ephiny: Stop talking like that.
Gab: Its important, I wont need it.
-ITADITH
Gab: Im still here. I think. Its strange, I seem to have moved beyond the pain.
Xena: Here, I have a poultice ready for you.
Gab: No, please dont, dont bother with that. I cant fight. I cant be of any help to you. So please, Im just distracting you.
Xena: But youre my source Gabrielle. When I reach down inside myself and so things Im not capable of its because of you. Dont you know that by now? Lets just see this through together.
-OAAA
Ares: Its a wolf!
Gab: Its not a wolf. Its a dog. Dont you have dogs on Mount Olympus?
Ares: Not one headed ones.
-Old Ares Had A Farm, (OAHAF)
Gab: Just be careful.
Xena: Always looking out for me.
Gab: Always.
-OAAA
Xena: All I want right now is to be with you. Youre my best friend Gabrielle, I love you.
Gab: I love you Xena.
-OAAA
Gab: I thought you said those guys were tough.
Xena: Must have caught em on an off day.
Gab: Youre hurt.
Xena: No Im alright. You just get some sleep, well be heading out in a few hours.
Gab: Xena?
Xena: Mhm?
Gab: When we get to Thessaly, you still owe me a new pair of boots.
-OAAA
Xena: How are you at shovelling shit?
-OAHAF
Xena: Its Ming Tien. I killed him. I killed you, you bastard!
Gab: You lied? You have me your word. You lied.
-TBS
Joxer: Rise and shine everybody! Rise and shine.
Gab: Ill rise. But I refuse to shine.
-Been There, Done That
Gab: Argo doesnt like me.
Xena: Sometimes you have to have patience with things that annoy you.
Gab: Oh, I never said she annoyed me.
Xena: I wasnt talking to you.
-The greater Good (TGG)
You stupid, conniving, four foot daughter of a...mare.
-Gabrielle, TGG
Gab: Actually he got very sick one day and...well, I thought he would get better, but sometimes its just what happens with things that you love, Sometimes they just leave you.
-TGG
Talmadeus: Oh Im glad youre not dead, it would have robbed me of this.
Xena: Well, it would have saved me from your breath.
-TGG
Gabrielle lives by her own code. That code doesnt include killing.
-Xena, ITADITH
Gabrielle wants to go to an academy for bards in Athens. Make sure she gets there.
-Xena, Prometheus
Callisto: Ive missed you Xena.
Xena: You never wrote.
-Return of Callisto
Callisto: Ohhhhlove, love, love, love. Oh it unites, youre rightand hate divides. Lets see which ones stronger shall we?
-Return of Callisto
Howve you been? Any new husbands since the last one I killed?
-Callisto, A Necessary Evil (ANE)
When I sliced open your husband, how long did it take him to die?
-Callisto, ANE
Once, a long, long time ago, all people had four legs, and two heads. And then the Gods threw down thunderbolts and split everyone into two. Each half then had two legs and one head. But the separation left both sides with a desperate yearning to be reunited, because they shared the same soul. And ever since then, all people spend their lives searching for the other half of their soul.
-Gabrielle, Prometheus
Gab: Does an Amazon Queen beat a Warrior Princess?
Xena: Do you really wanna find out?
-ANE
Velasca: You must have a death wish.
Callisto: You know its funny, I think I do.
-ANE
Xena: Look Gabrielle, I know how much this hurts you.
Gab: No you dont. Everytime I close my eyes I hear her voice, I hear Perdicas scream. Now I have to live with that til the day I die.
-ANE
If anyones listening, you know Im not much for praying, but I dont know what else to do. I was ready to give up once and then Gabrielle came into my life. Please, don let that light that shines on her face go out, I couldnt stand the darkness that would follow.
-Xena
Xena: When you thought I was dead, you risked your life to try to take me back home.
Gab: It was your last wish. For all that youve given me, and all the times youve saved my life, I would go to Tartarus and back just to carry it out.
-TGG
Joxer: You know Xena, I was thinking. A warrior of my quality should let you off the hook. Im setting off on my own. Im sorry.
Xena: Ill live.
-ROC
You understand hatred, but you have never given into it. You dont know how much I lovethat.
-Xena, The Price
Shes in that, Ill do anything for the Warrior Princess haze.
-Gabrielle, A Day In The Life (ADITL)
Xena: Why does this always happen?
Gab: Its the blue eyes, the leather, some guys just love leather.
-ADITL
Xena: I think a wardrobe change is in order.
Gab: You wear chainmail.
Xena: Yeah, but I think thatd just attract a kinkier group.
Gab: Probably right.
-ADITL
Its not you, its me. Im just not ready for this kind of commitment. Which is probably better for you anyway because all the men I get serious about seem to wind up dead.
-Gabrielle, Blind Faith
Been hanged, swung over a fire and nearly shish-ka-bobbed on razor sharp spikes, how do you mortals get form day to day, you know?
-Ares, Ten Little Warlords
She wants me to fist a fish? I can barely say it much less do it.
-Gabrielle, FFAG
I am the ultimate fantasy.
-Gabrielle, FFAG
I have something really important to speak to you about. Do these boots work with this skirt?
-Gabrielle, FFAG
Attus pleasure you with much furious zug zug first.
-Joxer, FFAG
The first day everything seems normal 'ceptin' that Joxer gets killed. The next day I fix that and then Argo gets killed. On the third day I know that there is something I am supposed to do and that somehow it's tied in with this blood feud. So I find out all about the old man gettin' hit by the cart and I save him, but the fighting breaks out anyway and Gabrielle gets killed. So, somehow, I am supposed to save the old man, stop everyone else from getting killed and make peace between the two houses. It's too much.
-Xena, Been There, Done That (BTDT)
I only remember one story told me when I was young. It was about two orphans who decided to search the world for their families. And it's all about their adventures, and how they kept searching. But the part I remember most is the end. And when the first man... Gabrielle: Reached the end of his journey, he found himself at the beginning. The family he had sought had travelled the world with him. The only family he'd ever known, ever needed, was standing right beside him. I know the story. Thanks for being my family. You're like a sister to me. Now go get your dream. -Xena, Athens City Academy for Performing Bards
Joxer: You and me on the same wave length. Two great minds, one thought. Gab: Only half a wit. BTDT
Gabrielle- So you're saying that today is actually yesterday for you. But for us today is today because we can't remember that yesterday was today, right? -BTDT
Joxer- Do you guys actually believe that I'd be stupid enough to step in between two guys with swords? Yes. BTDT
Aphrodite: Delinquent losers! Ive got half a mind to hit you with- Ares: A love ball? -The Quill is Mightier (TQIM)
Gab: I love starting a new scroll. The feel of it in your hands. The look, so clean, so perfectly empty. Listen. The way it crinkles the first time you open it. Nd that smell. Its just a special, untouched scent. Try it.
Xena: It smells like musty old leather to me.
Gab: To the non-creative person perhaps.
-TQIM
Joxer: Gabrielle awoke with a jerk. Hm. Gabrielle awoke with a jerk. Thats a funny phrase. Oh well, I must have come here on my own.
-TQIM
Barbarian: We fight with the heart of a lion.
Aphrodite: And you run with the feet of a chicken.
-TQIM
Aphrodite: Did you write him here (Joxer)?
Gab: Not exactly.
Ares: Ah, Gabrielle awoke with a jerk.
Joxer: I dont get it. Whats so funny about waking up?
-TQIM
Aphrodite: Hello! The love goddess is off the clock. I got my own problems. Alright, poetry. And if that doesnt work. Presents.
Joxer: Yeah?
Aphrodite: Yeah. Lots and lots of presents.
-TQIM
Ares: We were staring to warm up to each other there werent we?
Gab: Yeah.
Ares: I didnt like it.
Gab: Right back at ya.
-TQIM
Gab: How are those hormones Minya?
Minya: Raging.
-TQIM
